


i just called to say, i love you

by desitonystark



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: 5+1, Avengers: Infinity War compliant, But today is not that day, M/M, Not Steve Rogers Friendly, Past Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Referenced/Implied James Rhodes/Tony Stark, but not Steve Rogers bashing, maybe one day - Freeform, that damn flip-phone, tw: PTSD, tw: anxiety attacks, tw: character in recovery, tw: major character injury, will i stop writing about civil war?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-16
Updated: 2019-07-16
Packaged: 2020-06-29 14:23:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19832044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/desitonystark/pseuds/desitonystark
Summary: the 5 times Steve called, and the 1 time Tony did(n't)





	i just called to say, i love you

**Author's Note:**

> dont let the title fool you this isnt fluffy at all
> 
> \--
> 
> an au where the phone reaches before tony has fully recovered
> 
> post cacw, angst, past stony, 5+1, implied rhodeytony.

**1.**

The first time it rings, Tony doesn't pick up.

No thats not right.

The first time it rings, Tony _can't_ pick up, because he's just woken up from a 3 month coma and is currently breathing through a tube because there's a scar across his chest the size of Steve's shield and he's surrounded by life saving machines and he can't physically reach out and pick it up.

He's happy he had the foresight to sign to FRIDAY that she needed to link the phone to her mainframe, because it rings only twice before there's a small click and the room fills with a hesitant.

"Tony?"

There's a beat of silence, because Tony can't talk with a tube in his mouth and Steve's voice comes out more frantic.

"Tony?"

Tony's saved from garbling a reply through the tube when FRIDAY steps in and says smoothly "Boss is indisposed right now, can I take a message?"

Steve is audibly flustered, Tony can hear him rustling sheets as he sits up, and he imagines its because of the surprise that FRIDAY replied and not him.

"Hey FRI, uh is Tony incredibly busy?"

"As I said, he's indisposed. Can I take a message or should I end the call?" there's a coolness to FRIDAY's tone and Tony absently wonders who taught his girl lip while he was under

"No thats fine," Tony can feel the dejection coming in waves, and there's a small, twisted part of him that's lying on a bed clinging onto his life because of the man on the phone- that still wants to crawl over and give him comfort, "I'll just uh- I'll try later that's alright."

There's a pregnant pause and then Steve's voice filters through again, "Would you tell him I called please?"

And FRIDAY replies, "I'll note it down on his low priority list" and severs the line before Steve can respond.

\--

**2.**

The second time it rings, Tony's just gotten back use of his throat. Rhodey has been wheeling in and out of his hospital suite periodically to feed him ice-cubes, and he's too worn down to fight the mother-henning.

He's got all these ideas for braces that'll help Rhodey walk, but his hands shake too much and he's too weak to leave his bed, so he lets Rhodey heave himself up on the bed frame, and dutifully opens his mouth for food and water and ice cubes.

but Rhodey isn't here and the phone is ringing and Tony can't stop his hands shaking.

He manages to sign _pick up_ to FRIDAY's camera in the corner of the room, and there's a soft click and a tentative,

"Tony?"

just like last time.

and it makes Tony want to laugh, inexplicably, because Steve left a hole in Tony's chest and he's the one who sounds scared while Tony is stuck to a bed.

"Yeah Cap?" he croaks out, and he hates how frail he sounds, how obviously weak he is.

"Tony? Is everything okay?"

Steve's voice is louder now, like he's holding the phone closer to him, like he cares.

"you called?" he says and he's proud of how steady his voice is, how calm it is.

"Yeah yeah i did i just," he trails off; and Tony bends closer to the phone until he realises that the call is being played by FRIDAY.

"I just wanted to see how you were doing"

There's a hitch in Tony's voice, he knows because Steve says "Tony? Is everything okay?" but he can't _breathe_ and the walls are closing in on him and his senses are dulling and,

and someone's holding onto him, tight and steady and Tony leans into it desperately, anchoring himself to the lifeboat.

His breath evens out and his vision sharpens, and in stages, he breaths in the musky scent of _Rhodey._

He loosens the death-grip he has on his shirt, but he doesn't move out.

its selfish, so unbelievably selfish, because he _knows_ Rhodey shouldn't be standing on his feet, but nobody ever accused Tony Stark of being a martyr.

no, Tony Stark takes and takes and takes, and then he takes some more.

His consciousness comes back in stages; and Steve's frantic voice starts getting louder.

"Tony sweetheart, fuck sorry, didn't mean to call you that, Tony, are you- are you okay?"

Tony opens his mouth to reply, but Rhodey's dry tone comes out.

"He's absolutely fine Captain, not that its any of your concern"

There's a soft thud and Tony knows its because Steve dropped the phone.

he doesn't have the energy to smile.

"Rhodey, I uh, I didn't realise you were there too"

"I am wherever Tony is, at all times Captain, its what friends do," there's a hitch in Steve's voice, but Rhodey continues like he hasn't heard it, "and its Colonel Rhodes to you"

The line clicks off before Tony can hear Steve's response, and he busies himself running soft circles, loosening his throat long enough to ask.

"Is that all we are? friends?" in a hoarse voice

Rhodey doesn't say anything, but he does lean down and press his lips to the corner of Tony's mouth, and that, Tony supposes, is answer enough.

\--

**3.**

The third time the phone rings, its been so long, Tony's almost forgotten that the phone exists.

Almost,

As in its tucked inside one of his drawers, under a bunch of old files and documents, next to a small velvet box he found hiding in Steve's socks that he never got around to throwing away.

Almost,

As in he curls up next to Rhodey every-night, except the nights when he's looking for someone more muscular, someone blonder, someone who isn't the man sitting next to him.

Almost,

As in he's healthy and the braces work like a dream and he smiles more than he doesn't, but he still reaches for it sometimes and flips it open just to stare at the screen blankly.

The phone rings and it takes him a second to place the sound, before he starts fumbling for anything that vaguely masquerades as a bookmark; thumbs the phone open and holds it to his ear.

"Tony?" Steve's voice sounds gruffer, more focused, like he's actually called with a purpose.

Despite himself, Tony straightens, and he silently signals for FRIDAY to call Rhodey; this might be an Avengers-level threat and while Tony's healthy- he isn't quite there yet.

"Cap," he says neutrally.

"Tony oh thank god," Steve's panting on the other end, and Tony physically bites on his tongue to stop himself from asking if he's okay, "Its Bucky"

Tony throws the phone across the room, and it hits the wall just as Rhodey is entering.

To his credit, Rhodey barely flinches, he just walks over and manoeuvres Tony until he's lying against his chest; fingers carding through his hair.

Seconds, minutes, hours later, Tony whispers "he called about Bucky" and Rhodey bends down to press his lips to his forehead and they stay like that until they fall asleep; cocooned in each other's embrace.

The next day, T'Challa calls to inform them that Wakanda will officially be initiating proceedings to exonerate James Barnes of all his crimes, and Tony feels a visceral anger until he realises that Steve probably called to give him a heads up.

Its progress, evidence that Steve no longer meant to keep things from him, but the pain still burns anyway.

\--

**4.**

The phone wakes Tony up from his sleep, trilling and buzzing and Tony groans, flipping it open and pressing it to his ear.

"Its ass o'clock in the morning Steve you better be dying or so help me god I'll kill you myself"

"You," he breaks off with a _hic,_ "you called me Steve"

"I didn't think you did that anymore," there's a slur to Steve's speech- strong enough that it percolates through Tony's brain and he sends a silent curse to the entities above because his ex has fucking drunk called him.

"Its been over a year Steve," he says softly but firmly, "I've moved on"

"You've, you've moved on?" he sounds so small, like a child who lost his favourite toy; and Tony's heart aches.

but not a deep, twisted ache; a milder, softer one- for the man Steve used to be.

"Steve," he says patiently, "its 2 o'clock in the morning; why you'd call?"

"I just called," there's a swish of liquid, and Tony has the image of Steve cradling a bottle, curled around the flip- phone burned into his memory, "i just called to say i love you"

"i love you and i miss you and i just-" he sniffles, and something he didn't know was still in him breaks at the thought of Steve crying, "i miss you"

"Steve," he says slowly, "you're drunk, and I'm tired"

"I'm drunk, and I love you," he slurs, "and tomorrow I'll be sober, and I'll still love you"

"goodnight Steve," Tony says and pushes the phone away before he says something he'll regret.

\--

**5.**

Its the stupid goddamn flip-phone. Thats how they find him. Tony's taken to keeping it on his person because all his intel says that something big is coming, and he doesn't want to be unprepared, so its not even a thought to slip it into his pockets before he flies to bumfuck Nevada to snoop around an AIM base.

and he's so close downloading everything and getting away without detection, when the flip-phone starts ringing, and then all bets are off.

"Steve," Tony intones as he bends behind a desk, "this better be important"

Steve says something in reply but its lost in the sound of bullets as Tony runs across the hall and ducks behind a pillar.

"Can you say that again, I missed that"

"Tony are you, are you being shot at?" Steve's voice reaches new pitches and Tony shoots at the AIM goons coming 'round the corner before slipping down to the floor below

"I was being shot at," he says plaintively, keeping his voice low as he checks the expansive space, "now im being hunted"

"Why would you pick up when you're being shot at?!" Tony grimaces at his voice.

"You did give me this phone for emergencies. I thought maybe this time you were using it for what it was intended. The end of the world waits for - ," he cuts off with a grunt as a bullet hits his leg, hobbling to where Rhodey is waiting with his escape ride.

"- no-one," he wheezes out once he's in the car, and Rhodey is breaking a lot more traffic law than he should be comfortable doing.

"the end of the world waits for no-one, so why'd you call?"

There's silence on the other end and Tony pulls the phone away from his ear to check the call hasn't accidentally been disconnected, before saying "Steve? Are you still there?"

"you told me that I was only saying I love you because I was drunk"

Its so left field that Tony takes a few seconds to place what Steve is referring to, but when he does- he can't stop himself from sighing.

"Steve look I - "

"I'm coming back to New York in 10 days," Steve barrels on like Tony hadn't started speaking, "I'm coming back home and I'm sober and I still completely and utterly love you."

"The only question is," and Tony can feel Steve steeling himself, "do you still love me?"

Tony looks over to where Rhodey is driving, petting the scar against his chest absentmindedly.

 _The scar had not hurt Harry in 19 years_ he thinks when Rhodey feels his gaze and smiles; but there's a tightness in his fingers and Tony knows that Rhodey heard the whole thing

"Steve I- ," he pauses, "ask me again once you're in town"

The line clicks on the other side, and he reaches out to intertwine his fingers with Rhodey's free hand.

"I'm not going to make you choose Tones," Rhodey says softly; and Tony lifts their hands so he can press his lips to Rhodey's calloused hands because he knows.

There's a silent countdown in the air that week, and Tony has a mental tally of the days,hours, seconds until Steve is back in New York.

Except in the end, it doesn't really matter because 9h, 30 minutes and 4 seconds before Steve is expected to arrive in New York, Tony hitches a ride to space in a donut.

\--

\--

**+1**

He's seen the news.

Of course he's seen the news.

Its all anyone's seen, and the only reason why he agreed to the godforsaken detour so that they could pick up Vision and Wanda.

It's not that he didn't want to help them, its that he _told_ Wanda not to go but she insisted and now instead of being in New York and saving Tony he's in Scotland, saving the person who was supposed to be looking after Tony.

He's seen the news.

He knows what's going on.

But he still can't stop staring at the flip-phone, willing it to ring.

So it honestly shouldn't take him this long to pick up when it actually does ring.

"Tony?" he says, and he could cry because tony's okay tony's okay tony's -

"Steve?" thats not Tony.

"Steve hey its Bruce. Long time. Look I know its been a while and this is all very confusing and I'll answer all your questions later but Steve, Steve you need to come back to New York"

"Where's Tony?" he says dumbly, like he hasn't been watching the news obsessively.

"Tony's," Bruce's voice cracks, "Tony's gone Cap. And we need you"

_Fin_

**Author's Note:**

> to clarify, Tony does love Rhodey, but he also loves Steve- and he's just trying to work through that
> 
> \--
> 
> [tumblr saw it first](https:/ad1thi.tumblr.com/post/186328495002/i-just-called-to-say-i-love-you)  
> [my ig](https://www.instagram.com/tcnystcnks)  
> -A


End file.
